Road Coming Plus Movie Walkouts

August 23rd, 2016 by Max Allan Collins

The Brash Books edition of the complete ROAD TO PERDITION novel is now available for pre-order at Amazon and Barnes & Noble in either print or e-book form.

It’s something of a dream come true for me to have my original version out there in the world, after having been forced back in 2002 to cut its 75,000 words to around 40,000, in addition to be made to rewrite it substantially to make it further conform to the film. This is the definitive edition of the prose version of what is undoubtedly my most famoeus and successful work. Read more about it at Brash’s web site.

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This Sunday Barb and I achieved something very special, a personal best: we walked out of two movies on the same day.

We watched forty-five minutes or so the new BEN-HUR, which I would describe as a travesty except a perfectly good word like “travesty” shouldn’t be wasted on this. Where to begin? A nothing score. Unneeded narration. Cheap-looking sets and costumes. Embarrassing dialogue. Slow pace. I felt sorry for actor Jack Huston, who was so memorable as a disfigured hitman on BOARDWALK EMPIRE. His Messala, Toby Kebbel, is an unattractive thug. The carpenter who, in the process of making a table or something, offers up some philosophy is…Jesus! Get it? Jesus.

Leaving a movie called BEN-HUR without staying for the chariot race is like leaving DEEP THROAT before Linda Lovelace gets examined by Doctor Harry Reems. But we left, scurrying across the hall with our 3-D glasses still on, to catch KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS.

Now, some of you may have seen that film and loved it or anyway liked it, and lots of reviewers are gaga over it. But none of you suffered through 45 minutes of the new BEN-HUR before starting KUBO. KUBO is visually lovely, very poetic, and its use of stop motion over computer animation is most winning. But it’s also precious and full of itself, and is nothing approaching a story, at least not in the first hour. I would think for most children under twelve it would be mind-numbing. (My son Nate, with his bent for Japanese culture, may disagree with me.) There is a monkey, voiced blandly by Charlize Theron, who wore its welcome out quickly with us. The film is from Laika, the studio that produced PARANORMAN (which I liked very much) and BOX TROLLS (which I did not, though my smart friend Terry Beatty loved it…he may love this one, too).

As regular moviegoers, we are getting very worn down. I would suspect we have become cantankerous geezers if we didn’t find so much to like on TV. We just watched the excellent second season of THE TUNNEL, the British/French take on the nordic noir, THE BRIDGE, as well as a six-part Australian JACK IRISH mini-series called “Blind Faith” starring Guy Pearce. Both of these intelligently and skillfully use the police procedural and private eye melodrama respectively in ways that seem fresh and not at all dated, focusing on contemporary themes and subjects. The JACK IRISH is available on DVD and Blu-ray in the USA, but I got THE TUNNEL from Amazon UK (the first season has just become available here).

On an entirely different note, VICE PRINCIPALS with the great Danny McBride and the also great Walton Goggins is easily our favorite series currently airing – it’s very dark and yet somewhere deep down there is a beating human heart, in a world where the teachers are far more childish than the students.

Coming soon: QUARRY on Cinemax on September 9.

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Speaking of QUARRY, here is a positive UK review of the first novel, though the reviewer doesn’t quite get it….

And here’s a really great, perceptive QUARRY review from (wait for it) New Delhi!

Finally, give a listen to this interesting, interview-packed look at novelizations, featuring (among others) my pal Lee Goldberg and, well, me.

M.A.C.

Losing Face

August 16th, 2016 by Max Allan Collins

I’ve never paid much attention to Facebook.

I have two pages, because Facebook imposed a second one on me, but mostly what I have is an “author” page. I use this, in an admittedly kind of half-assed way, as a promotional tool. I’m more serious about my web site, and my weekly update/blog, which I often re-post at Facebook.

I’m also part of my band Crusin’s Facebook page, where we announce upcoming gigs and such.

Last July 4, Crusin’ appeared outdoors at the Missipi Brewing Company in Muscatine, after which some nice pics and a few short videos from that gig wound up on Facebook, on the newsfeed or “home” or whatever it’s called. I went over to that area to see those pics and vids, and became exposed for the first time to all of the stuff posted there.

Now, because I am a professional writer, and want to sell books, my policy is to accept any friend request, whether it’s anybody I actually know or not. If it’s somebody who buys my books, as far as I’m concerned that somebody is automatically a friend! The result is that I have a wide range of people whose posts I see, from all walks of life and of various political persuasions.

I was appalled by much of the tone that I saw in the political posts. Mostly I was seeing cats and dogs and vacation pics and food and what-have-you, the stuff of daily life for just about all of us. But the political posts were alarming.

Not in every case – some folks on either side of the political spectrum presented their views clearly, and sometimes even backed up those opinions with facts. Of course, “facts” are relative, since both sides tend to use the sources they trust. Me, I wouldn’t trust Fox News to tell me what time it is. But lots of people get their news there. And anybody on the other side of the aisle who thinks Rachel Maddow or Lawrence O’Donnell is providing an unbiased read on the news is kidding themselves.

While I don’t love opinion-slanted news, I get it – some people like salt, some like pepper, and many of us turn for our current events to whichever 24-hour news channel and/or opinionated website best suits our palates. In a Presidential election year, however, things get very salty and way peppery.

From my slightly left of center perspective, the stuff from the far right is the most disturbing. But I see screwy stuff from the left, too, with lots of cheap shots everywhere – ugly photos of Hillary or Trump with some dumb biased joke or cheap-shot insult laid on top. I learned the hard way that these folks don’t want to engage in a debate – they want to preach to the choir and get a resounding “Hell, yeah!” and go on to the next falsehood or exaggeration about the hated other side.

I got caught up in this crap for a while – and it is crap, as well as a waste of time. In particular, when somebody on the right would post what I knew to be a hoax – like the stuff about the late hero Captain Khan being a jihadist (!) – I’d provide a link to a debunking of that hoax. It took me a while to realize that the people posting these things didn’t care if the stories were a hoax. In one case, when I pointed out that a list of democratic goals (supposedly written by a famous leftist) was a well-known fake, I was told by the poster that it didn’t matter. That Democrats believed all this stuff, anyway, so that justified posting it.

When you’re dealing with people whose beliefs are so ingrained that facts don’t matter, you should smile politely, nod your head, and make a hasty exit. I am doing that now. I have had acquaintances – not friends, but people I know at least in passing – who have asked me why I always support terrorists, accused me of being a socialist, and attacked me when I suggested that Democrats were Americans, too. I have had angry ALL CAPS rants leveled at me that make me wonder if I’ve been talking to a drunk or a madman or a disturbing combination of both.

The funny thing is I’ve restrained myself, unleashing my sarcasm only once or twice, and then in a watered-down fashion. I’ve learned that trying to talk reasonably to people who are nearly illiterate but passionate about expressing themselves (I’ve been called a “trader” when I rather think “traitor” was the intention) is a pointless and even dangerous exercise.

There are people out there who hate Hillary Clinton with a passion that is frightening. Anything negative about her and her husband is believed. That she and Bill are responsible for enough murders to make Jack the Ripper look like a piker. That the Clinton Foundation is a corrupt wholly self-interested moneymaking machine. That she purposely allowed four brave Americans to die in the Benghazi screw-up. That’s she’s a liar and a criminal and must be locked up. It’s not enough to disagree with her policies or to find her untrustworthy. She must be the devil (as Donald Trump has called her).

And Trump has been similarly demonized. It’s not enough that he’s shown ridiculously poor judgment by denigrating in this campaign women, Mexicans, the disabled, war heroes like John McCain, and the current President (the “founder” of Isis). The left still has to make a cartoon demon out of him, a mobbed-up insane pedophile racist with a yen for his own daughter.

The left and right have become bitter enemies, without an ounce of respect for each other, and it’s a national tragedy – the worst example of America’s team mentality, of its “us against them” tendencies. The only thing remaining of our British heritage is that we are a nation of football hooligans.

The bottom line about Facebook is that, unless you are interacting with an actual friend and not a Facebook “friend,” you are talking to who-knows-who. The person may be violently dangerous or an insane drunk or a sweet nun with a dark side. Who knows?

I don’t.

And I’m not playing that game anymore.

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Crusin’ had a very nice gig at the Pearl City Plaza on Sunday afternoon/early evening. Nice crowd, very responsive, and we even had encores. After some time off due to my medical capers, we are coming back strong.

For those of you in the Eastern Iowa area, we will be at Ardon Creek Winery on August 26 from 6 pm to 9. Wine only improves the Crusin’ experience.

More info here.

M.A.C.

A Really, Really Expensive Box of Milk Duds

August 9th, 2016 by Max Allan Collins

As regular readers of this update will know, my wife Barb and I are dedicated moviegoers, and almost always see at least one movie a week. A typical weekend will have me working on Sunday and then, as sort of reward, catching a late afternoon show at the Palms, a very nice multi-plex here in Muscatine, Iowa.

Those readers will also know that the missus and I have been known to walk out of movies. I mentioned, a while back, that Barb and I were watching a really terrible Italian western at home one evening not long ago, and I said, “Honey, back in the ‘70s, would we have walked out of this movie?” And she said, “No…but then we had our whole lives in front of us.”

Barb usually has long since decided to bail before I’ve given up on a movie. She patiently rests her eyes, waiting for me to catch up with her disgust. Occasionally it takes us, or anyway me, a long time to realize I’m throwing time away on an unworthy film. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (which a good number of people liked) just wore me down with its constant over-the-top battles and contrived conflict, but we stayed probably a good hour before jumping ship. The awful Seth Rogen Christmas comedy (make that “comedy”), THE NIGHT BEFORE, was until this weekend the film that took us the least amount of time before walking out – fifteen or twenty minutes.

But the loser and new champion is BAD MOMS, or as Barb described it, “That was a really, really expensive box of Milk Duds.” We left around the ten-minute mark. We had chosen the film because SUICIDE SQUAD looked like the kind of film we’d wind up writing a suicide note after seeing – the unpleasant imagery of the preview was already more than I wanted rolling around somewhere in my brain. We considered JASON BOURNE, but nothing about the trailer indicated it would include anything we hadn’t already seen three or four times before in the franchise. And BAD MOMS had a decent Rotten Tomatoes rating (63% fresh, 78% favorable from audiences).

Also, BAD MOMS had Kristen Bell in it, second-billed. Both Barb and I are VERONICA MARS fans in particular and Kristen Bell fans in general – I even sat through every episode of her Showtime series, HOUSE OF LIES, despite finding the lead characters incredibly unsympathetic and even unpleasant. We suffered through the really crappy Melissa McCarthy movie, THE BOSS, chiefly because Bell was in it.

But BAD MOMS is so offensive – not in the sense that its would-be raunchy humor offended us, rather that it was an insult to the human race – that we left before the second-billed Bell even appeared on the screen. Reviews indicate that this female version of THE HANGOVER (by the same writers) has a funny, mostly improv performance by Kathy Hahn, who also hadn’t made it on screen before we left. Have to take their word for it.

Mila Kunis plays a Mom with two dreadful children who don’t appreciate her, and a boorish husband whose depiction made me feel like I was Martin Luther King at a Stepin Fetchit film festival. The life on screen, in a supposed suburb of Chicago, had no resemblance to human experience. Kunis, beautifully dressed, works at an office where she seems to be the boss, claiming to be the oldest one there at age 32, yet is also described as a parttime employee who’s been there six years. Clark Duke of HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, either a fellow employee or Kunis’ boss, immediately tells Kunis and another female employee about a creepy, overtly sexual dream he had, something that would get him fired or sued at any real company. Kunis is shown dropping her kids off at school and carrying in a giant paper-mache head of Nixon that she made for her son for a school project. Please explain to me what’s funny about that, and why we should like a mother who does her son’s homework for him (the title BAD MOMS is supposed to be ironic…see, they’re good moms but off on a HANGOVER-type spree, or would have been if we’d stayed around for it). Also at school is a trio of country club women (led by Christina Applegate) whose lot in life appears to be standing at the curb in front of the school to dis Kunis. Kunis’ husband is an unshaven fool who laughs at his wife when she struggles into the house carrying armloads of groceries, says he had a hard day at work because he had two conference calls and a nap, gobbles the elaborate meal she makes without thanks, gives his son a high five for getting a D on a test, and – caught masturbating in front of his computer with his pants down – tells his wife he’s checking his prostate.

Barb went out so quickly she might have been fleeing a fire. I called down the hall to her, “What time is the Apocalypse?”

By the way, a lot of people were laughing at this stuff, inexplicably…and some had their young children with them. There was a Trump rally feel to it.

A bad movie you walk out on is like a really, really bad dream from which you force yourself to wake up.

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Let’s conclude with a prayer for the future of mankind in general and America in particular, and a look at this very nice BETTER DEAD review.

M.A.C.

Here’s to Bill Crider

August 2nd, 2016 by Max Allan Collins

My friend Bill Crider, that terrific writer whose blog is one of the most entertaining in the mystery field, got some bad health news recently. Read about it here (and use the link to his Bill Crider’s Pop Culture Magazine blog to leave him some good wishes):

http://therapsheet.blogspot.com/2016/07/best-wishes-to-bill-crider.html

What is special about Bill, beyond his talent as a storyteller and the humor he displays every day in his blog, is the way he supports and encourages other writers. If you follow these updates, you should have noticed how often he has had nice things to say about my work. So send one up for Bill, and make it a good one.

I came back from the San Diego Comic Con with a few health issues of my own, albeit much more minor. For one thing, I’m retaining water (do your own joke here) and, in unrelated medical fun, am facing another procedure. An apparently non-cancerous growth on my right lung requires some attention that will give me a return trip to the hospital for a couple of days followed by a week or two of serious loafing. I have lots scheduled this month and next, including Bouchercon and my 50th High School Reunion, at which the Daybreakers are regrouping for a rare performance. So I’m hoping to put this off till very late September or early October.

Right now I’m working on EXECUTIVE ORDER, third in the Reeder and Rogers “Branches of Government” trilogy. It’s been very stop/start – last week two doctor’s visits screwed me up – and that’s not helpful. Before that, five days came out of my schedule to attend San Diego Comic Con (somehow I don’t sense any sympathy coming my way for that). Thing is, I like to burrow in, keep right at it. Writing a novel is like reading one: put it down for a while, you forget what it’s about.

Also, I just signed 1000 signature pages for the limited hardcover of the Mike Hammer short story collection, A LONG TIME DEAD. Jane Spillane will be signing, too. Here’s the info if you’re interested.

Speaking of A LONG TIME DEAD, here’s a typically patronizing but really pretty good Kirkus review of it. Considering how often they have filleted me with a rusty pocketknife, I’m pleased.

My pal Terry Beatty clued me in about a nice defense of the much-maligned-but-actually-quite-wonderful STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE from Simon Pegg, who not only plays Scottie in STAR TREK: BEYOND, but co-wrote it. Barb and I saw BEYOND for a second time, in 3-D for this go-around, which I thought was an improvement over an already strong entry. BEYOND is possibly too action-heavy, some of it incoherently so, and the villain’s motivation is hazy to say the least; but it really captures the characters and their interplay, and should delight STAR TREK fans (and I am one). Several references to the late Leonard Nimoy are moving, and an end card dedicates the film to the late Anton Yelchin, tragically dead at 27, who has many nice moments as Chekov in the film.

The QUARRY TV series is getting lots of Net play. Check out Crimespree’s coverage here.

This site has a complete listing of QUARRY episode titles and air dates.

The writers responsible for getting Quarry on the tee-vee, Michael Fuller and Graham Gordy, are interviewed here. They have spent four hard years making this happen.

Finally, here’s another podcast devoted to a MS. TREE issue (haven’t listened to this one yet myself, but I will).

M.A.C.

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